The lion

If you're attacked by a Lion
Find fresh underpants to try on
Lay on the ground quite still
Pretend you are very ill
Keep like that day after day
Perhaps the lion will go away

Spike Milligan


Have a Nice Day - Spike Milligan

'Help, help, ' said a man. 'I'm drowning.'
'Hang on, ' said a man from the shore.
'Help, help, ' said the man. 'I'm not clowning.'
'Yes, I know, I heard you before.
Be patient dear man who is drowning,
You, see I've got a disease.
I'm waiting for a Doctor J. Browning.
So do be patient please.'
'How long, ' said the man who was drowning. 'Will it take for the Doc to arrive? '
'Not very long, ' said the man with the disease. 'Till then try staying alive.'
'Very well, ' said the man who was drowning. 'I'll try and stay afloat.
By reciting the poems of Browning
And other things he wrote.'
'Help, help, ' said the man with the disease, 'I suddenly feel quite ill.'
'Keep calm.' said the man who was drowning, ' Breathe deeply and lie quite still.'
'Oh dear, ' said the man with the awful disease. 'I think I'm going to die.'
'Farewell, ' said the man who was drowning.
Said the man with the disease, 'goodbye.'
So the man who was drowning, drownded
And the man with the disease past away.
But apart from that,
And a fire in my flat,
It's been a very nice day.

Spike Milligan



Sunday Smile

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a 'drop off', the ground is 18-20 inches below
the level you are travelling on, and on your right side is a fire
engine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your
car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also
travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

For the answer click this


Scatterday A

A is for ALCOHOL which is readily available in most restaurants.

A is also for amazing turquoise coloured APERITIFS such as the glow in the dark ABSINTHE. Test this out for yourself with a pocket-sized black light or ultraviolet light . Simply shine the light on products and look for a glow.

Last but by no means least A is for Absolut vodka advertising campaigns which in some countries is quiet in your face and which can definitely leave one feeling very much in the dark.




25 Challenge - Laughter

Which comes first

Laughter or the smile?

Does it matter?

Both are fantastic for you

And for those around you.

Try it! You'll like it.


Terrible Tongue Twister Tuesday


Mr. See owned a saw.
And Mr. Soar owned a seesaw.

Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw
Before Soar saw See,
Which made Soar sore.

Had Soar seen See's saw
Before See sawed Soar's seesaw,
See's saw would not have sawed
Soar's seesaw.

So See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw.

But it was sad to see Soar so sore
Just because See's saw sawed
Soar's seesaw!