What am I?

Well I have been cleaning up my mailbox and came across this quiz from years ago and by years I do mean years.... yes I realise that we should trash unwanted rubbish and emails but you will be very pleased when you read this that I didn't trash it.

Now the original list came from a blog post in 2010 by Megan who by her own description is a bitchy stitcher, although personally she must have a fantastic sense of humour to go with it. Anyway so as to not aggravate that professed bitchiness if you go to this site you will actually find the answers to this quiz in a one page downloadable pdf. I will give you answers in a day or two for those of you who are unable to work out what quilting term each description is referring to.

1. An instrument with an extremely sharp, round blade used for dyeing fabric with blood spots. Be sure to have plenty of extra blades on hand as they tend to chip if they hit bone.

2. What results when you whine like a big baby because the fat quarter you got at the guild swap isn’t “quilt shop quality” and Tille Henderson pulls a switchblade

3. What Sheila has. You know—Sheila. Don’s wife. He made it for her. He, apparently, knows how to use the tools in his garage. I get to use an old flannel sheet that looks like the cat yakked on it.

4. The part of the fabric that they always say you can’t use, but which just gets hidden in the seam allowance so what’s the big deal?

5. What you do with your eyelashes when someone starts complaining about all the fabric you’ve been buying. Warning: may lead to unintended sexual obligations.

6. What quilt books and patterns are always harping on, like the world’s gonna end if your seam is a little off.

7. The section of New Orleans where the happy quilters live. Nobody tells them to lay off the potato salad. Also, the name of my future fabric shop/Cajun restaurant.

8. Yeah, lettuce and tomato. That’s hilarious. Would you please go somewhere else? Go ask Don to show you how to use a nailgun or something.

9. What you see after you eat the funny sugar cubes someone gave you at that last Grateful Dead show. Not that I would know.

9. The material used for the back of a quilt. If a friend is doing longarm quilting for you, it must be 2in bigger than quilt and batting on all sides. If done at a quilt shop, 8in

10. The process of making sure that a quilt block, or a quilt, has straight edges and right angles at every corner. Failure to do so will result in a hefty fine and/or jail time, as determined by the longarmer who is holding your quilt hostage.

11. A method of covering up mistakes. Not foolproof, however, as there is no method for covering up the mistakes made while appliqueing. Beer helps, though.

12. Triangles cut from a square of fabric which, when they are sewn together, miraculously form a trapezoid.

13. Quilt pattern comprised of repeating blocks made from three triangles. Also known as Completely Impossible and Are You Freaking Kidding Me?

14. What you sit on while you dial 000 after hacking off the end of your finger with the rotary cutter.

15. The irrational inclination to believe that holding down a job or cooking some food for once is a more productive use of time than quilting.

16. The cool hat you get to wear when you are elected Bishop of Quilters. No, really. There’s a ceremony every year in the Fat Quarter during Mardi Gras.

17. No, not what you stand in to get free Jack Daniels. You’re not funny, you know.

So leave a comment and tell me how many you are able to work out by yourself :)

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